07132010

I had to start over.

I've been a wreck this past month. It almost felt like all the previous posts that I had were hanging around me and I couldn't move on. A little silly, maybe but I want to start anew and be happy about it. I have to admit, I do feel a little relieved.

The plan at the moment is the restrict as much as possible without b/ping. My dad has been giving me massive amounts of gum (apparently his store throws them out WAY before the expiration date). Cool. I've been chewing gum like mad. A typical day looks like breakfast - some sort of fruit, lunch - yogurt, dinner - whatever. The dinner part is what I need to work on. I'm constantly being tempted by my parents cooking but that needs to stop.

Also, I've been c/sing sweets like mad. That also needs to stop. With c&s, you do swallow some of what you chew, depending on how much self control you have. Things like pastries worked well but chocolate was a death wish since it's impossible to stop the avalanche of melted chocolate sliding down your throat. I'm sorry if this is triggering to anyone. Let me know if it is and I'll block some things out. Actually, let me go ahead and do that...

The thing that sucks about me starting over is that I'll be leaving on Friday for my graduate school orientation. Plus a visit with a friend for about 5 days before the orientation begins. My plan with my friend is to only eat around her and to order salads and things whenever we eat out. That's actually been my plan now; eating only when I'm around people (except for my guilty donut runs...). I've also been drinking a lot of sparkling water. It doesn't have caffeine in it so I don't think it'll dehydrate me (please let me know if I'm wrong).

At any rate.. I'll do an official weigh-in when I come back from my vacation/orientation. That'll be on August 2nd. It'll be alright, I'll have my laptop with me so I'll be able to post while I'm away. I also need to start commenting again. This little vacation of mine ruined me, I swear. I have BALLOONED and I want to feel good in my skinny jeans again.

I feel so shallow.

I hope everyone is doing well :)